Mistletoe Thieves
by wickedsingularity
Summary: [x-mas stories 2019 #1, one-shot] At a Starfleet Christmas party, someone realises they don't like mistletoes very much.


For the past year, the Federation had made a big deal out of honouring and showing off all the traditions and customs and holidays of the different member species and nations. It was a way for everyone to get to know and respect each other's cultures and it had opened a lot of outsiders' eyes to what the Federation was. It was a great publicity stunt. And a lot of fun for us on the Enterprise.

The year was almost over, so it was time for a Human Christmas. So as to not distract from work completely, the Humans had turned only the mess hall and recreation areas into truly festive areas, full of Christmas spirit halfway through December. Lights and poinsettias and small trees. The chef prepared all of Earth's traditional Christmas foods and the replicators could produce most of them too. A few of our Ensigns – lead by Chekov – had also put up mistletoes all over the ship.

I wasn't too much of a fan of the mistletoes, but I was still hoping Jim would catch me under one. We'd been dancing around each other for far too long. We were both clear on what we wanted, having had our relationship grow naturally from fellow students to colleagues to friends to friends wanting more. But for some reason, neither one of us took that next step. Why I didn't do it, I wasn't entirely sure, but I was starting to think he took some perverse pleasure in watching me sweat and squirm. But I kind of loved making him sweat and squirm too, so that made it bearable.

So far, I hadn't even seen Jim when I had been near a mistletoe. Everyone had put them to good use and I had even caught a kiss on the cheek from a blushing Ensign, from Nyota, and one of Bones' nurses. It wasn't until Christmas Eve that I got close. That morning, I had stopped to have a quick chat with Lieutenant Tanager from the biology department on my way out of the mess hall after breakfast. Scotty had appeared and surprised me with a kiss on the cheek, I hadn't even realised I was under a mistletoe. Jim had wandered in after my boss, but he had just smiled at me and gone straight for the replicator. I had blinked in surprise, said goodbye to Lieutenant Tanager and left for Engineering to start my shift.

Insecurities grew in me as the day wore on. Especially after seeing Jim kiss the top of Nyota's head as I grabbed a satsuma on the way to my quarters to change after my shift. Not feeling very much like dinner with everyone anymore, I replicated some toast and started packing for a couple of days of shore leave the next day.

Starfleet had invited their senior officers to an informal Christmas party on Deep Space Station K-7 and we were scheduled to arrive bright and early on Christmas Day. Jim was taking all of his senior bridge crew, and chiefs and assistant chiefs of all the ship's departments and divisions. I was looking forward to some change of scenery and real alcohol. Sometimes synthehol just didn't cut it.

* * *

Deep Space Station K-7 had a few restaurants, a couple of bars, one giant mess hall, a few observation decks, but small quarters. It wasn't designed for having guests staying long, as it was right beside the Klingon border. But it was enough for two days and one night. Jim would never have us stay longer – he wasn't exactly a fan of being this close to the Klingon Empire.

The party would be on the observation deck, the mess hall and the closest bar. I decided to start in the mess hall, where most of the food would be. Classical Christmas music could be heard down the hall and I felt the spirit of it all sneak into me a bit, the music was catchy. The mess hall was beautifully decorated, elegant and classy and wondrous, but also infested with those wretched mistletoes. They were above doorways and snack tables. I was careful not to linger in the doorway too long, and thankfully Tanager and Nyota hailed me the moment I stepped inside.

"These cheese fritters are delicious!" Tanager announced, leaning back against a tall round table, holding up a small plate with several round golden balls on it, a couple of different dipping sauces on the side.

I snatched one off her plate and ate it before she knew what happened. "So they are." I grinned and went to grab some, careful not to stay near a mistletoe for more than a quarter of a second. I also found the drinks table and got the strongest one I could recognize.

"Trying to forget something?" Uhura asked, one eyebrow raised, nodding at the glass in my hand.

I took a large gulp of the drink, emptying almost half the glass in one go and shuddered at the burning in my throat. "Just in a drinking mood," I replied with a shrug.

The three of us chatted for a while, getting through a bunch more cheese fritters, pork ribs, fruit cake, borscht, prawns and cookies. Not to mention I had two more of those drinks, and not even all that food could soak up enough of the booze flowing through my veins. I was well and truly tipsy already.

After a while, both Nyota and Tanager headed off to check out the observation deck, and I was left with my third drink. That's when Jim came in. The new female personnel officer we picked up at har last starbase pit stop halted him by the door, right under the mistletoe. Even from across the room, I could see her flirting shamelessly with him, her hand on his arm, batting her eyelashes and giggling. I rolled my eyes and made a face as if I had tasted something disgusting. _Some goddamn personnel officer._ When Jim bent down and kissed her on the cheek, I turned around and downed what was left of the drink Nyota had left behind and went to refill both her glass and mine.

"Too damn close to Klingon borders," someone muttered on my left. I looked around and saw Jim, looking handsome in civvies, dark jeans, black t-shirt and leather jacket, quite a long way from his Starfleet issued trousers and golden shirt. "Hi," he said and gently bumped his shoulder into mine.

"Hello," I said, pursing my lips. I corked the bottle and lifted both glasses.

"You here with someone?" Jim asked, eyeing the two drinks.

"Nope. Both mine."

He chuckled and poured one for himself. "Thirsty?"

"You could say that." Without another word, I turned around and started towards my table again, but it was now occupied by none other than that personnel officer and her friends. "Well fuck."

Jim turned around and followed my gaze. "Your table?"

"Yep."

We were silent for a few moments and I downed half of one of the drinks while glaring at my occupied table, before Jim bumped into my shoulder again and leaned in. "You okay? I've barely seen you for the past few days. I miss you."

I tried not to let the obvious worry in his voice get to me. "I'm fine. Just been busy getting into the Christmas spirit." Before he could dig further, my comm went off and Tanager called me over to the observation deck. I downed the rest of the glass and set it down. "See you later, Jim," I said with a smile and hurried off with the full glass.

This time, I wasn't quick enough to duck away from the mistletoe by the door, and a Chief Engineering officer I recognized from my Academy days who had tried to chat me up back then, cornered me. The alcohol had clouded my judgement, and before he had time to say anything else than "hi", I dragged him down by the collar of his shirt and planted my lips on his. He only took a split second to kiss me back, but when he tried to slip his tongue into my mouth, I pulled back and pushed him gently away. Then I winked and disappeared from the mess hall.

By the time I got to the observation deck, Tanager was gone and Uhura was nowhere to be seen either. But I didn't mind, as I found a makeshift bar and ordered two more drinks since the one I had brought with me was empty already. I grabbed one in each hand and found a comfortable seat overlooking the stars outside.

All the drinks had made my mind pleasantly fuzzy and gooey. Soon, I realised I was sitting directly below a mistletoe as someone kissed my cheeks. I snapped my head around and the room spun for a moment, but thankfully it was just Scotty again. He and a few of our senior Engineering officers joined me and we had a fun time embarrassing each other with stories from work and Scotty was kind enough to fetch me one more drink. Once that was gone, the stars in the window seemed to be blinking and moving and were making me dizzy. Some rational part of my brain that had somehow managed to not have drowned in alcohol figured it was best to call it a night.

I said my goodbyes and stumble towards the door and curse loudly when someone knocked into me right in the doorway. "Not another fucking mistletoe," I whined.

"Shhhhh," someone said and dragged me away. I stumbled after the person and only when they stopped, did I see that it was Jim, and he had his hands full of mistletoes. "Help me hide these," he slurred while looking down at the green branches and red bows.

"Did you take down all of them?"

"I think so. Can we hide them in your room? I can't be seen with them."

"Sure," I said and staggered towards the turbolift. It was already there and we got in, Jim leaning back against the wall, holding the mistletoes up to his chest. It took me a moment to remember the number of the deck my room was on, and I hoped it was right when the turbolift took off. "Why'd you take them?"

Jim frowned down at the branches, looking at them as if they'd insulted his entire family. "Don't like 'em."

* * *

Something pricked at my cheek and woke me up the next morning. I frowned and groaned and moved my head, but the pricking feeling didn't quite go away. I opened my eyes but shut them quickly at the too bright light in the room. I must have forgotten to turn them down before I fell asleep.

"Computer, lights down to 10 %." Behind my eyelids, I saw the light dim and dared to open my eyes again. Then I felt around my face for whatever was pricking me. I pulled something from my hair and held it up, staring at, feeling very confused. It was mistletoe. I tossed it to the floor and when my arm fell down on the mattress, I noticed there was more there. I sat up and looked around.

There were mistletoes everywhere on my bed. And that's when it came back to me. Jim had stolen all the mistletoes around the Christmas party and we had staggered into my room and he had dropped them on the bed. He had hugged me goodnight, stumbling a little and then left. In my drunken and dazed state, I had collapsed onto the bed and slept in the mistletoes.

I didn't have the energy to deal with them just then. My stomach growled like a bear and I saw it was around the time we had agreed to meet for breakfast. I changed my clothes, splashed cold water onto my face, brushed my teeth, hurriedly pulled my fingers through my hair and headed out. Something fatty and salty for breakfast, and then I would grab a shower and a bath before we went back to the Enterprise.

Out in the hall, Jim, Nyota, Scotty, Tanager, Bones and Sulu were also coming out of their rooms. They all looked just as terrible as I felt. I caught up with them, falling into step next to Jim.

"Morning," he said with a smile.

"Good morning." I was still feeling a little insecure from everything that had happened the last few days, so different from how he had been the last few months.

As we rounded the corner to the stairs, Sulu cleared his throat behind us. "It appears you have branches in your hair, Lieutenant," he said amusedly.

I stopped and felt the back of my head, finding nothing, looking questioningly at Sulu. Jim had paused to look too. He chuckled and pulled away a mistletoe.

Chekov cleared his throat and looked amused and Nyota smirked. I felt myself blush.

"So that's what happened to all the mistletoes," Tanager said. "Did you two have sex on them or something?"

I blushed even harder and shook my head. "I don't know how that got there."

"Sure." She raised her eyebrows and looked up before she and Sulu walked past us.

I looked up and Jim was holding the mistletoe above my head. Then I looked at him, his blue eyes sparkling in an otherwise pale and tired face, staring at me. Then he too looked up, before turning back to me with a wink. I rolled my eyes, it was so cheesy. But I remembered how he said he had missed me yesterday and I had to kiss him at least once in my life, so I slipped one hand behind his neck, the other grabbing his collar and pulled him down. Our lips met and the others whistled and laughed.

Jim threw the mistletoe away and slipped his arms around my waist, pushing us back around the corner, away from everyone. As soon as we were out of sight, his lips were on mine again. I pressed myself against him, months of frustrations needing a release. His tongue pushed against mine and he tasted like minty toothpaste. I was close to jumping up to straddle his waist right there in the hall when my stomach roared like an animal again.

I pulled away with a breathy chuckle. Jim leant his forehead against mine, breathing hard. "Replicator breakfast?" I asked.

"Replicator breakfast."

I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards my room, deciding we ought to have some fun with the rest of the mistletoes.


End file.
